All U Need Is L-O-V-E. …and a little less control.

Well folks, I survived. I hope you did. Another happy and holy-moly mess of a holiday season in the books. AND with our little added bonus of a break with some school closings for inclement weather, it made for the marathon of breaks. I should have trained and conditioned a little better. However,  I did get my *2018 unicorn*— aka SNOW in Savannah! Thus, I will keep my mouth shut for further requests…–for a while anyway. THANK YOU snow gods! It made me happier than I could have imagined. Amazing what a few beautiful falling flakes can do for one’s emo levels.

Now on to what’s cooking up in the new year. For me (cue: Gene Autry’s Back in the Saddle Again)…..I’m hoping to find my little zen brain again. I’ve been missing that “piece of peace”– all while hopping back on track with a healthier lifestyle in general. It’s never too late to hit the restart button….being kinder, taking those long breaths and reflecting on all the good. This is a lesson I need to take from myself….

Ya see, the other day, my daughter was working on this beautiful gem of an art masterpiece (featured here: L-O-V-E) during quiet time at our house. Quiet time is when everyone does something independently. You don’t have to sleep, but under no circumstances may you request a snack or juice or attention of any sort. Unless your feet are on fire or something. It goes for my husband too.

So I was in my little office doing something productive, I’m sure….loving listening to my cheerful daughter humming along in the kitchen while coloring — or, so I thought. Somehow homegirl had *independently* busted into a quite involved painting project extravaganza with mommy’s (off limits) acrylics. I casually walked into the kitchen and looked over, then down at her mess (more than just this piece), and then looked at her little face. She was starting to light up, as she knows I am a huge fan of her work. But instead I caught my breath and loudly snapped at her because she was doing this (self taught) splatter paint technique banging and swaying the brush with quick strokes in the air over her paper (and “work space”). I could see her look of pride turn quickly into holding back tears. I think the holiday break made me, in fact, break. I continued with saying how she knew better than to use those and that she had lost discipline being home for so long, and blah blah. I mean, I turned into a beast. It was like spiraling out of my mouth and really it was about nothing. I felt like a total a$$ actually. Poor thing. Imagine thinking your mom has caught her breath by your artistic brilliance and instead was freaking out that you were going to splatter a little paint all over the already “quite loved” kitchen.

We made up after I calmed down and I told her I of course loved the picture. If you have ever been to my house, I’m pretty laid back about anything getting ruined. It’s really not possible. 3 kids under 5.5 years old doesn’t allow you that luxury. So really I believe I was feeling that I had no control over her, the mess and (bigger picture)– life, at the moment. I clearly mis-projected.

When I took my little escape to Arizona last year, the thought-provoking wrangler-turned-therapist, Wyatt Webb, said to me within our first few moments of meeting— “If you can name one thing you have 100% control over right now, I’ll give you a $1000 dollars.” Suggesting things to him such as the food I eat or the items I purchase—“No”, he said, “those are choices. What can you control? Nothing.” –You heard it there folks. From the wooly faced, brilliant, sensitive yet poignantly spoken cowboy. You are wasting your time worrying about things you cannot control, and worry does a helluva job on the body. As my friends JCW and CCW say in their house— it’s a bag of rocks. Put it down. —I love that.

Easier said than done, for sure. But in this case, baby steps go a long way. Make a little daily habit (or resolution!) to at least acknowledge the good feelings; your energy will lighten. We could all use some of that. I’ve noticed its effects on interactions, especially with my children. My hubs who doesn’t tend to have chronic worries, at least not lame ones like mine— has a more playful and light interaction with my kiddos. It’s a good o’meter for me to watch and learn.

So, on topic with the changes I’m suggesting (and making for myself), our family writes down a few resolutions each January along with hitting up our little door jam growth chart. Growing up my parents had us write down our resolutions on yellow legal pads and my dad kept a file of them each year. Things like “seat belts, honor roll, manners etc….” were some of the (nerdy) yearly highlights I can recall. :)  I continue with the handwritten tradition because it’s cute to see the kiddos’ thoughts through their little (giant) penmanship and illustrations.

Middle child, NLK, doesn’t read or write yet, so she dictated to me what she would like to “work on”. Since we try to avoid the word “never” in our house,  she asked me to write down “Always don’t not be listening to mommy when she take us to bed.” It’s a solid start. I’ll take it. (She also stated yesterday, “You always don’t let me do the Sharpee markers.” I know, I know. …Life. Is. Tough. Baby girl. It’s a cute twist on **never** using **never** if you want to try it at home ;)

So here’s to a kick-tail start to your year! I’m excited for the motivating push of a new year. Show life who’s boss—business, health, relationships, giving back, hobbies….   Slip up? Just jump back in that saddle again. No points lost for re-mounts.