What I Did on My Summer Vacation, by Garrett K.

So as promised, I owe you a little summer summation of how things played out as my first summer as a parent among the (kinda dreaded) camp sitch. Meaning, I was very overwhelmed and panicky about signing the kid up for the best camp for her, with the right crew, coordinating timing with my youngin’s, etc. Welp, turns out, I was right to be a spazzing mess. This camp thing, while helpful, sometimes is more work than it is help, from a selfish perspective. AND, not sure if it’s just my little las, but she’s not really in the headspace of like “since you paid all of this money, I’m going to slap on a smile and see this thing through til the end, Mom. Thanks. Oh and you’re the best.”…yeah, not so much.

There were many a Day 1’s of camp where she said, and I quote, “If I go back there I will die.”, among other entertaining quips. (Perhaps Drama camp would have been a better fit.) I would push her to give said camp one more day, and then she could officially bail. And she usually did bail. She loved the week at ecology camp, cheer camp and a camp at our community center—but she for sure struck a match to some dough on some other camps. THUS, my analysis—- I over scheduled her. She is a home body and really just wanted to do unicorn craft after cheetah craft after nature craft—coupled with all day dress-up. While a lot can change in a year, my plan for next summer is to chilllllax on racing to the sign-up stand for camps. I’m gonna be dialing up things around here at Camp KamJam. Crafts, yard games, board games, cooking and of course, my Dad’s favorite time from his days at camp—free time (ala quiet time). Accepting applications for well mannered, potty trained applicants for summer 2018!

I never thought I would be the mom that was finding herself saying out loud “I cannot wait for school to be back in session”. I hate myself for doing it. I never heard my mom say that (even though she may have been thinking it) …but I gotta say, it really is time. Their new routine will be like beautiful, blaring Pavarotti and champagne bubbles popping music to my ears. It’s time for all of us. Even I have been staying up too late playing catch up on the worst Bravo television in the history of horrible. It’s time to put this summer baby to rest.

In closing, a few observations and rumination take-aways from our summer:

*I apparently have a considerable amount of time ahead of me before traveling is fun and relaxing with my family. No offense, children, but that’s on you.

*We may have lost “nap time”, but the installation of “quiet time in your own room” has been such a genius substitute.

*My parents pronounce the “U” in Uber. Example: “G, call us one’a those Yuuuber’s please.”

*I have a compulsion to hyper-clean my house before my cleaning lady arrives. (just don’t want to be judged.)

*The power of the healing touch is underestimated, in my book. Treat yourself to massage or reflexology on the reg. So good for that energy flow.

*Does anyone leave voicemails with pertinent information anymore? Voicemails should be reserved for gushing or b*tching only.

* You don’t need a therapist. You need a close friend and a porch.

*You can’t argue with crazy. Hopefully you won’t find yourself wrestling with this one. It’s some good advice, again from my pops. It’s sadly so true. Proceed with caution.

*On that note, I have learned that there is no sense in negotiating with a three-year-old. You will lose.

Enjoy soaking up the tail end of summertime. Technically we still have some more time, but the excitement that Fall is around the corner has me of the close-out mindset. We out, summer.

(To the tune of, Schooools out for suMMer….)… “Schooooools back in seSSion.

( i probably should have resisted here.)