Are You an Innie or an Outtie?

What kind of ‘vert are you? Introvert or Extrovert? (Hopefully those were of the only two that came to mind :) I’ve always been described as outgoing—I am. Though in my younger years, I was a bit more of a mom’s-flowy-skirt-hugger. Obviously that’s not unusual for a kiddo to be shy, though I wonder what triggered my chatty-social-explosion around the beginning of 2nd grade. This is when I learned the term “social butterfly” because it was delivered on a “note home” from the teacher explaining to my parents that I was too much of one. However, at the same age I would spend HOURS in my room entertaining myself; usually “playing school” with my stuffed animals as pupils (so perhaps technically never feeling alone). Even since before I had children (as now alone time is seriously like gold), I have cherished my time alone. I love projects that I can get lost in, prefer solo drives, solo walks, solo shopping if I have to shop and such.  Recently I’ve been going through one of my “yearnings” for alone time — not like complete solitude—but to dive into something– ideas are bubbling.

The way it keeps popping into my brain has started to make me think— maybe I really am hard-wired as an introvert? Is that what’s most natural to me and I’m not exercising it enough?  Or I’m an extrovert about this and an introvert about that? But then I thought— that can’t be right. We are not personality buffets. You don’t get to pick and choose. You’re either one or the other. After looking further into it… (there are a ton of ways to waste your time discovering which one you are)– and I don’t think anyone that knows me would dispute this, I am an extrovert— through and through. Though you *can* actually hover around being both an introvert and an extrovert. In fact many people do–  I do not. In any shape or form. I’m an outtie all the way.

After reading more about personality traits of each ‘vert and interests and behaviors, I check all the extroverted boxes and at the same time I kind of long to be more like the boxes I was not checking under introvert (thinking before speaking, carefully reviewing projects before diving in (i.e. probably reading instructions like a total RF), taking quiet time to have inward and reflective thoughts.) Nope, Nope, Nope. But it’s okay; there is no denying that I am a person that truly draws their energy from being around people. (My husband wishes that would more often cease around curfew time, I know :) The funny thing is, I don’t even have to like the people that much. My brother and I always used to laugh at how we thrived quite nicely around strangers.  No stranger danger here— bus drivers, cab drivers, bar tenders, waiters, kids sitting around a random fountain in Florence, Italy….. we love/d a good arena of chatty stranger folks – who ultimately (quickly) became our best friends (and his biggest fans).

And for the record, introverts are not shy, they just rely mostly on their inner thoughts and experiences for guidance, whereas extroverted peeps prefer discussing their thoughts for advice or feedback. Just because you may take some time today to think quietly about which one you may be, doesn’t make you an introvert necessarily. Though it’s always nice to take some quiet time, no matter where you fall. And that’s how extroverts stay balanced!

I remember very vividly standing in my parents room one afternoon when my dad had just gotten home from work and he and my mom were kind of like “eeeehhhhhh” about not wanting to attend a party that evening. I remember thinking “WHO doesn’t want to go to a PARTY”? Even folks like my parents who are both quite extroverted, need to hit the snooze button sometimes :) And I get it now more than ever.

Psychologists and institutions such as Myers Briggs consider defining your “psychological preference” (introvert or extrovert) as critical when it comes to your career path selection and your success in personal and professional relationships. If you have some time to check out this site, Personality Junkie is super interesting on delving into your personality as a whole. (Thank you to my cuz EAHK for sending this my way!) Go ahead, take you a free of charge “psych eval” :) At the very least, it could be a good way to gain a new approach for coddling your ‘vert.