I’m in the ‘Zona.

I’ve been in the zone in the ‘Zona. Tucson, Arizona that is.  I took a solo overdue get away. Initially sparking this journey was a gentle observer stating that I needed some rest. Not just hide away for a night and get a good night’s sleep, but some serious downtime to quiet the mind. It does a body good and you can’t put a price on that kind of healing. I’m now a believer.

Over the last handful of years, I’ve managed to collect some baggage that, with small children, you don’t always have the luxury of getting to process how you want to. Or when you want to. Or in any substantial abundance to really gain any progress. We all have our “stuff”, and one thing I’ve learned while “in the ‘Zona” is the importance of embracing it all, feeling it all and having the strength to move forward.

Not to be a drag on this forum, as I like to keep it light, but a piece of my so-called “baggage” is my divorce 8 years ago. When you are one of the key players in a divorce, sometimes you just push through to get to the end of the process, no matter how painful. What you sometimes don’t realize in all of the trudging and anguish, is how it can also be devastating to those close to you. The S.S. Divorce ship leaves a big wake and if it’s yours, you may be too consumed to realize it. I have struggled with the many aspects of that guilt over the years, but found comfort in letting much of this go through some helpful minds and bodies during my recent stay at Miraval. (My “rest camp” if you will.)

In addition to the emotional shipwreck a divorce can cause and on top of a few other sinkers,  my brother’s death in 2013 has taken a significant toll on my being in many ways- as losing any loved one can. Especially witnessing how precious and fragile a life is. I’m told that sometimes we don’t want to let go of the excruciating pain of a loss because we feel somehow that is still connecting us to them.  It’s been referenced to me in the past few months, that these events, collectively with the (joyous!) births of my three children in four years, have been like a lion chasing me and I can’t stop to catch my breath— and most importantly, check in with me. Well— now I did. And as difficult as some of the sessions and workshops and opening up was, it has changed me forever for the better. Take that, lion! (insert boxing gloves…jab, jab.)

As much as I want to be the gal that comes back from a week of mindfulness in the desert claiming to know it all and tell you to drink the Kool-Aid and give this a try whether you are struggling with a loss, self-esteem, life changing decisions, direction or just burn-out– I’ll just say that it worked for me. I was curious, optimistic, but mostly just clueless to what this type of experience had to offer. Sure yoga and desert hikes and climbing walls and spa treatments are going to be intriguing and relaxing and fun for all—but the direction I received on the importance of connecting and mindful behavior– making *you* check in with *you*—have rebuilt those stones that were getting otherwise chipped away.

I can say things like “soul journey” and “mindful intuition” and have some of my skeptics rolling their eyes—I get it. It sounds like I signed away my first born to a cute, little cult in the arid land of the cactus. It turns out that I just happened to discover what could be my soul’s twinkly purpose…and like most things discovered in the desert that have been a bit neglected, it was a little tattered, though thankfully still intact. It was just in need of a little quenching.

Thank you Miraval for getting this gal back in the saddle (literally and figuratively) of feeling empowered and more awake to what is next for moi. I’m ready to take charge of my next few creative lightbulb projects as they arise (insert RDK’s eye roll now). And mostly thank you to the husband for knowing what I needed when I needed it—and making it happen. ( …A few journey pics below…)

Disclaimer: I promise not to overload you with my new found soulful practices, though have a few perhaps helpful teachings to share in the next few weeks. Then I promise to go back to talking about tequila and other boozy and travel delights.

The room decor Hayes sent with me. Wyatt Webb. Therapist and Cowboy. getting  peace on in that zen place.

absolutely not zen place. These little beauties followed me along my journey. Can you find the heart-shaped leaves? ~love is all around~